Gold Fish
by Monker
Summary: Some of the boys of Barracks Two try to stay entertained during one of the many lulls in a very lull-filled war. Oneshot. Nominated for a Papa Bear Award for best short comedy 2009! Thank you so much for that honor!


Well, this is just a bit of silliness I had in mind a long time ago. I wrote it out then but didn't post it. It's just a simple scene that really should probably belong in a longer story, but I just couldn't think of where to take the story. So it has remained just a simple little scene, which I really had no intention of posting. But I've mentioned it to a few people and they have encouraged me to post it anyway. So if you like this story, thank Deana, because it was her idea to have it posted. It's random and pointless, but I like to think that it's still a fun side of the characters. So please read and enjoy.

**Title:** Gold Fish

**Author:** Monker

**Rating:** K (G)

**Genre:** General/Humor

**Summery:** Some of the boys of Barracks Two try to stay entertained during one of the many lulls in a very lull-filled war.

**Main Characters**: Kinch, Newkirk, and Carter.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hogan's Heroes or any of the characters or situations (if I did, it would have lasted for way more than six season). I just like 'em. No copyright infringement intended.

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"Uh, three."

"Alright, three for Kinch," RAF Corporal Peter Newkirk mumbled as he tossed the cards in the Sergeant's direction. "And…two for the dealer."

Sergeant Kinchloe slid his cards off of the table top and into his hand. Five of clubs, two of diamonds, five of hearts. That wasn't too bad. With the pair of sevens he had already in his hand, the dark skinned American was looking at two pair. After the final round of bidding, it was time to show the cards.

Newkirk leaned forward and removed the cigarette from his mouth. "What've you got?" he asked, the words being accompanied out of his mouth by a soft puff of smoke.

"Uh-uh, pal," Kinch shook his head, tapping the table top in front of Newkirk. "You bid last. You show 'em."

Newkirk looked once more at his cards before laying them down, sending a faint snapping sound echoing throughout the barracks. "Three of a kind, nines," then he waited for his opponent's response, and he wasn't disappointed.

"Shoot!" Kinch said, throwing his cards across the small pile of money in the middle of the table. He ignored Newkirk's annoying chuckle as the Englishman raked the 11 marks to his ever growing pile. Kinch dove across the table, slightly startling Newkirk, and grabbed the worn out deck of cards. "I don't trust you. I'm dealing this time."

Newkirk looked insulted, "Me?" he said, laying the accused hand over his heart, "be dishonest with cards? Not a day in my life, mate! Is it my fault that these fingers attract magic hands?"

From one of the upper bunks, Sergeant Andrew Carter of the U.S. Air Force watched as his friends, and fellow Prisoners of War, played cards on the table below. He had been quiet through most of the game but finally felt induced to comment. "How come you guys only play poker?" he asked, propping his head up on his fists.

"Because it's a man's game, Carter." Newkirk said over his shoulder as he took another drag of his shrinking cigarette.

Kinch cocked an eyebrow at the Corporal like that was a stupid answer, but stayed silent as he shuffled the cards. They were very old cards, with creases in them and much of the red and black ink worn off. Some of the cards had even been so worn that the men had to draw the shapes of diamonds and spades back onto their surfaces just to distinguish them. And the eight of clubs was forever recognizable to the men of Barracks Two because one of the corners had been completely torn away a few years ago. With all of this is mind, Kinch's fingers were considerate in their handling of the tender cards. He shuffled slowly a few more times and listened as Carter kept talking from the bunk.

"Because I bet I could beat Newkirk at some other game," Carter said sitting up from his lying position and jumping down to the floor with a thud.

"What'd you have in mind?" the Cockney answered half heartedly as he started to collect the cards Kinch was dealing.

"Have you ever played gold fish?"

Newkirk kept sorting his cards and rolled his eyes, saying, "It's go fish, and yes I have."

Carter's brow wrinkled in thought, "No…I'm pretty sure it's gold fish."

"And I'm pretty sure you're balmy, mate."

Kinch didn't say anything, but allowed a small smirk to form at his mouth.

At the sustained look of confusion on Carter's face, Newkirk tried to explain, "Look, we've each got cards. There're a bunch of 'em in the middle. If I ask for something you haven't got, I've got to draw from the pile, right?"

Carter smiled, "Yep, that's gold fish alright!"

Newkirk rolled his eyes again. He looked at Kinch while giving a slight wave in Carter's direction, "and you let these boys into your army? Shhhew!" he said with a disparaging shake of the head.

A high-pitched squeaking and then clunk came from the other side of the room as one of the bunks was lifted, revealing a secret tunnel below. From the newly exposed hole climbed Louis LeBeau. The short man poked his head out just enough to see the other men in the room.

"Kinch, London's calling! You better hurry down here, ASAP!" the Frenchman called.

Immediately, Kinchloe jumped from his seat and headed that way, skipping right over Lebeau and the ladder and shooting straight to the tunnel floor, heading for his underground radio station.

"You'd better get the colonel, Newkirk," Lebeau said before he too headed down the ladder.

"Right," Newkirk mumbled as he doused his cigarette and laid down his cards. He got up from his bench, grabbed his hat from his bunk, and quickly headed to the tunnel entrance. "Carter, get the colonel," he said, before following the others and hopping down the ladder.

Carter scoffed slightly, but shook his head with a smile. _Newkirk's always teasing, _he thought.

* * *

Alright, as I said, this is obviously very random. But I thought I would post it anyway. I hope you enjoyed it regardless, and feel free to leave a review if you wish!

**Author's Note: **I am very thankful for the reviews I have received so far for this story. And I would like to thank the reviewer Anon for pointing out the possible offence that could be taken at the word "Limey". I didn't realize that word was considered derogatory in any way, if I had, I assure you I wouldn't have used it. That said, I have changed it to say "Cockney" instead. I hope no one was offended by it, if so, please know I am sorry.

--Monker


End file.
